Misc: An open letter about Sandy Hook Elementary & a call to action!

Today started with heartbreak. Heartbreak for others. Heartbreak for mothers & fathers who lost their babies. Heartbreak for the evil & depravity this world posses. Heartbreak from all mothers & fathers across this county that it could be us in their shoes, we could have lost our babies.

But praise to the gracious Lord above, this isn't the case for most of us. But what do we do with this heartbreak? How do we as a nation move on & make our world better for our babies? What can this teach us? How can we help?

I'm sure every parent reading this wants to wrap their arms around the parents of Sandy Hook Elementary; but since we can't do that there is something we can do.

Pray- Don't just say you will. Don't just spread the words of "our prayers are with you". Do it! Get down on your knees, cry out to God to have mercy. Cry out to Him to bring peace to the 20 parents that lost their babies & the 6 families who lost part of their family. Pray hard & pray fervently & don't stop praying until YOU stop hurting and once you get to that point, pray a little more for those parents & the brothers & sisters. Pray for those little eyes & ears that saw & heard just how evil this world can be. Pray for the souls of those who aren't broken to pieces by this ugliness. Pray....never ceasing...pray!

Hug your babies- Say something sweet & nice. Tell them they are special & loved & you will love them from here to the moon & back no matter what. Kiss their heads. Rock them to sleep. Cry over them. Pray over them. Love them endlessly. Then spend more time with them than you ever have. When they frustrate you, hug them. When they yell at you, tell them you love them. When they leave your sight, pray for their safety. When they sleep, pray for their souls.

Make this world a better place- It sounds like a tall order, but it's not really. Your actions, words, & life are a pebble in the pond of America. Everything that you do or say or act on has a ripple effect on this world. Wish people a merry christmas. Say please & thank you & offer a smile. Francesca Battistelli says it so well in the song Heaven Everywhere, "it's the grace that we show to a world without hope..its the joy that we feel & the love that we share". Bring positivity & love to those around you. Those you know & those you don't. Be considerate of the way to treat people & the way you talk to them. It's a small action, but can make a huge different in someone else's day & won't take that much from you.

Praise- Praise the almighty Lord above for the blessings in your life. Praise Him & thank Him for bringing your family home safe. Praise Him that he protected hundreds of other students in that school. Praise Him for the opportunity you & I have to have an effect on this world.

Turn to God- I've heard so many times in the last 12 hours or so "Where's God? How could he let this happen?". God didn't let this happen. This country has pushed him out of our schools, our homes, our lives. How can we expect Him to step in when we have forced him out. The single, best thing we can do to save our nation, our children, & ourselves is to turn our lives back to Christ. He will never force himself into our lives, He wants to be invited. Invite Christ into your life. Tell him that you need him & want him in your life. Drop to your knees (again) & ask His forgiveness for the sins in your life. Then start over. Start fresh. It's not easy to be a believer, especially on days like today, but my hope remains in Christ & it is because of him that I am able to function & praise on a day like today.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted & saves those who are crushed in spirit- Psalms 34:18

Because of their wickedness do not let them escape, in your anger, God, bring the nations down. Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll, are they not in your record? Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help. By this I know that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord whose word I praise. - Psalms 56:7-10

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOT_tcwMN-w]

Baby & Butter: Beginning Our Allergy Journey

In the last 8 weeks I feel like our world has been turned upside down. With a host of unexpected expenses (& quite large) & now the diagnosis of B's allergies, I feel like I'm in a tail spin.

His clinical allergy tests showed positive for Eggs & inconclusive for dairy & peanuts. After venturing to the store & finding out how much dairy & eggs where in products, I was discouraged & catatonic for about 24 hours. I just walked around with a blank stare on my face. By day 2, I was done feeling sorry for myself & decided this was a wonderful opportunity to make my family healthier. B wasn't doing this alone. I started reading up on some whole food recipes & getting ideas for products & recipes to incorporate into his diet so that he wouldn't be lacking in any nutritional area.

I've always been a food person & have always had a good handle on where food comes from & how food is made, but I was sent for a loop when I had to start reading food labels to make sure there where no allergens in them. I was floored how much unnecessary stuff is in the food we eat everyday. For example, I bought some chicken broth & when I got home & flipped the box over out of curiosity...milk. In chicken broth? Why is there milk in chicken broth? It made no sense. I started to get a handle on everything & even did my first grocery shopping trip working towards our whole foods & anti-diary & egg household...then the blood tests came back.

B had been tested for 13 different allergies (I think its 13) & I was more than floored...I think I fell through the floor, but all I could do was laugh, I had no other choice. For those of you who don't know anything about allergy testing, there is a scale from 0 to 6. 0 & 1 classify a person as negative to that allergen, 2 is low, 3 is moderate, 4 is high, 5 is extremely high, & 6 is super high (death high, well maybe that's a bit over exaggerated, but maybe not). B came back as a 2 in dust & peanuts & the allergist thought it best to lump in all nuts because of the how quickly the allergy can develop, 3 in milk & wheat (yes wheat, something that didn't even show up on the first test), and 4 in eggs & dogs.

At this point everything has set in & I have to figure out how to do this. How to have a dairy, egg, wheat, dog, & dust free home without going broke & while still maintaining the health of my husband & I. I often find myself with my face in my hands sighing.

But even now, I refuse to feel sorry for myself, my son, or my home. I've gotten a lot of "oh poor thing" or "that's so sad" & it is. It stinks! But what can you do? Flourish is what we are going to do. I am determined to maintain my holiday traditions even with his allergies. I am determined to incorporate more into our holidays that don't have to do with food. I am determined for my family to be healthy despite our small monthly budget for food. I am determined. Period! Determined!

So where do we go from here? What's the next step? I don't know yet, but I'm going to figure it out & I will be more than happy & willing to share our journey with you. So stay tuned lots to come from this Allergy Mom! 

Veggie & Turkey Stirfry with brown rice (recipe to come later)

Sweet B eating up his stirfry....I was amazed at how much he loved that stuff. 

This was our first lunch after finding out about the wheat allergy. Left over roasted chicken heated in Organic, Free-Range (non-milk added) broth, mexican mixed beans (recipe to come later), & brown rice toast with honey.

Day 2 lunch: Apple sauce with chicken & beans from yesterday.

Bokeh: Lessons from Project 365

So in the 27 days I have been doing project 365, I have missed 6 days of my assignment. If this were a New Years resolution it would have been a statistical 90% failure by February 1st, but since it isn't & I'm still going, it's not a failure.

I have been thinking about how often times in life a challenge doesn't necessarily mean it's done perfectly or the way you imagined, but that it is completed. I have missed a few days; 6 days where I didn't even pick up my camera unless it was to move it. For 6 days in the last 27 it wasn't turned on or focused or viewed through.

A few things prevented me from picking it up, like the 2 days I was in the hospital with a sick baby. I wished I had it just because I want to remember all the times in life, not just the smile inducing ones. But in the hospital I didn't even think to pick up my phone to take a picture. It was stressful & the less important things were pushed aside or forgotten in lieu of the more immediate needs.

Other days that I missed where because I plum forgot, didn't remember till I was laying in bed, until I woke up the next day, went to take my pictures, or until a few minutes ago when I logged all the days, pictures, & titles into my computer calendar. Oh well!

This is one of those times when "it is what it is". It has changed the way I view things though. I see everyday as a potential photo-op & everyday things like a rising moon, baby painting with yogurt, or a squirrel sitting on the ledge of the porch are all beautiful moments that make me look at my day just a little differently & that is the entire purpose of this assignment, even if I do have a few incompletes when it's all over with.

This is Day 21: Night Sky. The color in the sky was the prettiest shade of blue & much like Pink in the Fall a few days ago, before this challenge I would have passed up the opportunity to capture a moment like this.

Bokeh & Baby: Life trumps the best of intentions!!!!!!

I have realized this week that sometimes life trumps the best of our intentions. I have missed all but 1 of my 365 photos this week.
Our son was hospitalized early, early Wednesday morning in respiratory distress. It took 24 hours worth of breathing treatments every 4 hours, steroids to pump up his bronchial tubes, & inhalers to get him home.
In 36 hours he slept the most of the 3 of us at a whooping 3 hours. Since then we have been dealing with a doped up baby & nausea from all the drainage from his nose. Our next step is the allergist to find out what the triggers are. It has been a long & exhausting week & as much as I hate that I have missed 7 days at the beginning of my challenge, it is part of life.

Misc: Find your calling in a world that is all about "me"!

Have you ever read Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis? You should! In the book Katie Davis is telling the story about how she gave up everything & went to live in Uganda & adopt 14 local children & taking care of literally a village, all because God made a calling on her life. I highly, highly encourage you to read it, great perspective.

I'm not all the way through the book yet, about half way, & I have been so moved by how sold out Katie was on her cause for Christ. Her life assignment. Her calling! I can't say that I am feeling a call to move to a desolate land & give up everything about my life, but I am being challenged to look at my life & evaluate the place that Christ has for me. What's my specific purpose? What direction does he want me to go in?

Christ has placed a calling on every Christian's life. Some, like Katie Davis, figure it out early. Some take a bit longer & make mistakes that lead them to their calling. Some know their calling & choose to ignore it.

I have heard to many people think that the only way to answer the calling for Christ has been to go out on to the mission field & leave your life behind. This is not always the case. Colossians 3:23 says "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men". Whatever you do. This is not permission to do whatever it is your heart desires & say your doing it for the Lord. This isn't sitting at a bar getting drunk with the locals & saying your "ministering" to them. This isn't saying go minister to the women at the Magic Mike movie or the girls down at the strip club. Not at all! Vs. 23 is saying that whatever job or life situation or class your in, work at it & do it the best of your ability as unto the Lord. Bust your tail there, because you would for Christ...work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.

We are all placed in different jobs, situations, life circumstances, physical locations & our ultimate calling is to live & work & share in the place we are. 1 Corinthians 12: 4-11 says that we each have specific gifts & talents to use in our daily lives, no two are exactly the same as are no two people the same; "There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. Now to teach one the manifestations of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he demands."

Those verses are specifically talking about spiritual gifts but a little lower in my bible, the commentary says "Specific gifts, places of service, & activities vary but they all have their best effects when they build up the body of Christ. God creates a unique place in the body for every believer. Part of the exciting adventure of following Christ involves discovering one's service contribution & then making it available to God."

We each have a calling a place God wants us to be, a place to serve him, but where is it? How do we figure it out? Luke 10:27 says it very clearly, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart & with all your soul & with all strength & will all your mind". Do that, love Christ with every part of your being, & He will lead you to the place He has for you. It may be Uganda. It may be across the country. It could even be in your own front yard, but He will lead you to it if you love Him with your entire being & you use your life to serve him.

We all have a mission field & you wake up every morning to your mission field. Our calling can be our jobs or at our church. It could be in another country or it could be helping those who need it in your own town.

I've found my calling....behind my lens. And I will shoot (photographically) as unto the Lord.

Misc: Good Things Come To Those Who Wait: Incorporating biblical principles into our daily lives.

I was pulling out of the local coffee shop drive-thru & a thought crossed my mind...Good things come to those who wait!

But, I wonder, what does the bible say about waiting/patience? The first verse that comes to mind is James 1:2-3: "Consider it pure joy my brothers, when you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." (NIV)
Now, most people apply this to the BIG trails in our lives, the life changers, but what would happen if we applied it to the smaller areas of our lives?

When I am tested, big or small, short-term or long-term, I repeat over & over "Consider it pure joy. Consider it pure joy. Consider it pure joy." Just the first four words remind me that pushing through & not letting negative emotions dictate the outcome will produce good things, blessings big & small.
Slow traffic or worse stop & go- Consider it pure joy.
A room is dirty you just cleaned- Consider if pure joy.
Boss asked you to stay late, again- Consider it pure joy.
Now I'm not saying these things won't get to you & tick you off, but by saying or thinking "Consider it pure joy", you are shifting your thoughts to another area. Your reminding yourself that good will come, maybe not from the situation, but from chilling out & breathing.

Proverbs 14:29 says "A patient man has great understanding, but quick tempered men display folly."  [lack of good sense-Webster] (NIV).

Very few good decision or results are made from hasty decisions. Anger or frustration is not wrong, the actions that come from it tend to be though. When we become impatient, decisions are not thought through & in the end we are usually more frustrated.

A perfect example is the scene if Office Space when Peter is on his way to work in the right lane, but the left lane is the lane that moving. He makes a snap decision & gets in the left lane, which promptly stops & the right lane starts moving, so again he switches. He isn't getting anywhere any faster switching back & forth, he just gets more frustrated.

But that is part of life, isn't it? A series of frustrations, disappointments, & irritations. It is how we deal with them that make the difference.

Proverbs 19:11 says "a mans wisdom gives him patience, its to his glory to overlook an offense." (NIV)

Sure your offended that you were cut off, but try to teach that person a lesson & your the one in the fender bender.  Yell at the check out person for moving to slowly; they feel bad & you feel worse.
Patience is not just meant for the big areas of life, it translates very well into lives smaller, everyday areas too.

Proverbs 16:32 says "Better is a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." (NIV)

I use the Life Application Study Bible & I love it. There are great footnotes at the bottom to give great insight & explanation when you need a little more. Under the notes for vs. 32 it says "Success in business, school, or home life can be ruined by a person who has lost control of his or her temper. So it is a great personal victory to control your temper."

Victories & rewards come in different way; some are tangible, some come as a lesson learned, & others are the ability to handle a similar situation better next time.

My experience with patience today was after waiting for % minutes in the drive-thru after ordering (which is an ETERNITY in drive-thru time), I considered pulling out of lines, as others had & going about my day. But I didn't, I decided to wait, wait without complaining. My reward for waiting & exercises patience was a coffee on the house because the wait was so long. And it was good.

Bokeh: Picture Snob

Ever since I started in photography I have become a little, shall we say snobby, when it comes to pictures as decoration in my house. Overnight it seemed I didn't want anyone else's "art" hanging in my house. All of those New York skyline pictures I wanted to hang in the kitchen where a want of the past. I apparently adopted an "it must be mine" attitude.

That attitude has made it a little difficult to decorate because it has penetrated to other parts of my decorating which I'm having to talk myself off of the ledge of "I must make everything myself or it be a one of kind piece". I simply don't have the kind of money to maintain that fostered attitude. However, I can adopt my attitude for pictures.

The NYC skylines pictures will have to wait a while, as will the Parisain pictures. I did get some great New England pictures though on a recently trip to Maine. I wanted a lighthouse picture for my kitchen. So far it's lighthouse on one wall, Boston on the other.

These are the two that so far have made the cut...

Baby: My Family Pictures

I have learned a valuable lesson as a photographer...don't try to take pictures of your own kids & get professional pictures taken. I get asked all the time "why do you need someone to take pictures for you? Aren't you a photographer?".

I get pictures taken for me, because its very difficult to have pictures of me with my family & take the picture myself. Plus, they just never come out as good. Its a blessing to sit back & have someone else do the work. I always tell my clients to sit back, be in the moment, & let me do the worrying; I have to let that happen when it comes to my own family.

Our friend Sarah has been taking pictures of us since before we were married. I tend to be very loyal when I am happy with the service & product I get, so I keep going back to Sarah. To see a few more of our pictures you can check out her website, www.sarahtphotography.com.

Misc: Happy Veterans Day

Or what king, going out to engage in conflict with another king, will not first sit down and consider and take counsel whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him twenty thousand? And if he cannot, when the other kind is still a great way off, he sends an envoy and asks the terms of peace. So then, any of you who does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.                       Luke 14:31-33

There are no words that can express the gratitude I feel toward every one of our American soldiers. For those who are alive & those who have passed, retired & currently serving, thank you a million times over for the service you have done for this country. Our country would not be what it is without your sacrifice, sense of duty, & selflessness. 

And to the families of our America soldiers, thank you for so selflessly giving your son, daughter, father, mother, brother, sister, grandmother, or grandfather for the cause of our nation. This country is eternally indebted to you as well. 

May the Lord, greatly bless all who have served & given. Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby: How my son changed my relationship with Christ

I always heard that children change your life. When I was pregnant almost every person I came in contact with told me how much everything was about to change.

One thing I didn't expect to change was my relationship with God. I thought God & I had a good relationship. I prayed often, read my bible, went to church, listened to christian music. I had faith & a lot of it; but something happened when I was pregnant, there was a shift in the way I relied on & related to Christ.

I was in the car today listening to a Chris Tomlin song & it hit me; My son completely changed my relationship with Christ. He changed everything. I couldn't & still can't put my finger on it, but my relationship with Christ has gone from a every few days thing, to a daily thing. I rely on Him so much more & communicate with Him 100-fold.

I often find myself tearing up at the slightest things. A happy moment...tears. A sad moment... tears. An everyday, completely normal moment like getting the stroller out of the trunk.... tears. I guess some would say I have become a cry baby, but it is so much more than that. The Lord has softened my heart & truly taught me how to love & live, through someone that can't even speak.

I spend time studying the bible almost daily (I do miss days, at least 1 or 2 a week), which was never something I was honestly that interested in before. I see how important my relationship with Christ is now that Brooks is here. I realize how much of an impact my personal relationship with God has on my family's relationship with him. Growing up, I watched my mom get up at 4:30am most mornings to spend time with the Lord so that she could take on her day in His presence. It took a while, but that ended up making a big impression on me. I see now how our lives, actions, & relationships affect those close to us.

I look at my life through completely different glasses now. I see things I never saw before. I was once told by a mentor, I was the most uncompassionate & least merciful person they had ever met. Unfortunately, they were right. B has changed all that. I, for the first time in 21 years, see the way Christ sees me & understand the way He feels for me. When I disobey Christ or have a "moment" I finally understand how Christ just looks on me & shakes his head or lets out a sigh. He loves me just as much as before, maybe even a little more, & even gets a chuckle.

I knew B would change my life. I knew my life would be different. I never expected something so small, so helpless, so.... so unspoken, to change the way I viewed the Savior.

Baby: You've Got Mail wisdom

In You've Got Mail, Kathleen Kelly writes to Joe Fox & asks him this question... "I live a small life; valuable but small and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it or because I haven't been brave?"

I was thinking about that last night as I was thinking about my life. I would say I live a small life. We don't spend a lot of money, we don't own flashy things, we both drive normal cars. We aren't in debt & never spend more on a credit card than we can write a check for at the end of the month. A small life. But our life is valuable. Chris & I enjoy our life. We enjoy each other & I couldn't think of anything I would rather do than wake up & take care of our son all day.

I can almost guarantee that people who have chosen to live a smaller life, would say they are a lot happier than if they had chosen to live bigger. We are all told constantly that it's the small things in life that matter most. When really it's not. Most people will tell you at the end of the day the material things & big jobs can go, but all that matters is that they have their family to come home to. That's living a small life, but those things aren't in any way a small thing.

I live a small life; valuable, but small.