Bokeh & Baby: Life trumps the best of intentions!!!!!!

I have realized this week that sometimes life trumps the best of our intentions. I have missed all but 1 of my 365 photos this week.
Our son was hospitalized early, early Wednesday morning in respiratory distress. It took 24 hours worth of breathing treatments every 4 hours, steroids to pump up his bronchial tubes, & inhalers to get him home.
In 36 hours he slept the most of the 3 of us at a whooping 3 hours. Since then we have been dealing with a doped up baby & nausea from all the drainage from his nose. Our next step is the allergist to find out what the triggers are. It has been a long & exhausting week & as much as I hate that I have missed 7 days at the beginning of my challenge, it is part of life.

Baby: My Family Pictures

I have learned a valuable lesson as a photographer...don't try to take pictures of your own kids & get professional pictures taken. I get asked all the time "why do you need someone to take pictures for you? Aren't you a photographer?".

I get pictures taken for me, because its very difficult to have pictures of me with my family & take the picture myself. Plus, they just never come out as good. Its a blessing to sit back & have someone else do the work. I always tell my clients to sit back, be in the moment, & let me do the worrying; I have to let that happen when it comes to my own family.

Our friend Sarah has been taking pictures of us since before we were married. I tend to be very loyal when I am happy with the service & product I get, so I keep going back to Sarah. To see a few more of our pictures you can check out her website, www.sarahtphotography.com.

Baby: How my son changed my relationship with Christ

I always heard that children change your life. When I was pregnant almost every person I came in contact with told me how much everything was about to change.

One thing I didn't expect to change was my relationship with God. I thought God & I had a good relationship. I prayed often, read my bible, went to church, listened to christian music. I had faith & a lot of it; but something happened when I was pregnant, there was a shift in the way I relied on & related to Christ.

I was in the car today listening to a Chris Tomlin song & it hit me; My son completely changed my relationship with Christ. He changed everything. I couldn't & still can't put my finger on it, but my relationship with Christ has gone from a every few days thing, to a daily thing. I rely on Him so much more & communicate with Him 100-fold.

I often find myself tearing up at the slightest things. A happy moment...tears. A sad moment... tears. An everyday, completely normal moment like getting the stroller out of the trunk.... tears. I guess some would say I have become a cry baby, but it is so much more than that. The Lord has softened my heart & truly taught me how to love & live, through someone that can't even speak.

I spend time studying the bible almost daily (I do miss days, at least 1 or 2 a week), which was never something I was honestly that interested in before. I see how important my relationship with Christ is now that Brooks is here. I realize how much of an impact my personal relationship with God has on my family's relationship with him. Growing up, I watched my mom get up at 4:30am most mornings to spend time with the Lord so that she could take on her day in His presence. It took a while, but that ended up making a big impression on me. I see now how our lives, actions, & relationships affect those close to us.

I look at my life through completely different glasses now. I see things I never saw before. I was once told by a mentor, I was the most uncompassionate & least merciful person they had ever met. Unfortunately, they were right. B has changed all that. I, for the first time in 21 years, see the way Christ sees me & understand the way He feels for me. When I disobey Christ or have a "moment" I finally understand how Christ just looks on me & shakes his head or lets out a sigh. He loves me just as much as before, maybe even a little more, & even gets a chuckle.

I knew B would change my life. I knew my life would be different. I never expected something so small, so helpless, so.... so unspoken, to change the way I viewed the Savior.

Baby: You've Got Mail wisdom

In You've Got Mail, Kathleen Kelly writes to Joe Fox & asks him this question... "I live a small life; valuable but small and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it or because I haven't been brave?"

I was thinking about that last night as I was thinking about my life. I would say I live a small life. We don't spend a lot of money, we don't own flashy things, we both drive normal cars. We aren't in debt & never spend more on a credit card than we can write a check for at the end of the month. A small life. But our life is valuable. Chris & I enjoy our life. We enjoy each other & I couldn't think of anything I would rather do than wake up & take care of our son all day.

I can almost guarantee that people who have chosen to live a smaller life, would say they are a lot happier than if they had chosen to live bigger. We are all told constantly that it's the small things in life that matter most. When really it's not. Most people will tell you at the end of the day the material things & big jobs can go, but all that matters is that they have their family to come home to. That's living a small life, but those things aren't in any way a small thing.

I live a small life; valuable, but small.