Baby: How my son changed my relationship with Christ

I always heard that children change your life. When I was pregnant almost every person I came in contact with told me how much everything was about to change.

One thing I didn't expect to change was my relationship with God. I thought God & I had a good relationship. I prayed often, read my bible, went to church, listened to christian music. I had faith & a lot of it; but something happened when I was pregnant, there was a shift in the way I relied on & related to Christ.

I was in the car today listening to a Chris Tomlin song & it hit me; My son completely changed my relationship with Christ. He changed everything. I couldn't & still can't put my finger on it, but my relationship with Christ has gone from a every few days thing, to a daily thing. I rely on Him so much more & communicate with Him 100-fold.

I often find myself tearing up at the slightest things. A happy moment...tears. A sad moment... tears. An everyday, completely normal moment like getting the stroller out of the trunk.... tears. I guess some would say I have become a cry baby, but it is so much more than that. The Lord has softened my heart & truly taught me how to love & live, through someone that can't even speak.

I spend time studying the bible almost daily (I do miss days, at least 1 or 2 a week), which was never something I was honestly that interested in before. I see how important my relationship with Christ is now that Brooks is here. I realize how much of an impact my personal relationship with God has on my family's relationship with him. Growing up, I watched my mom get up at 4:30am most mornings to spend time with the Lord so that she could take on her day in His presence. It took a while, but that ended up making a big impression on me. I see now how our lives, actions, & relationships affect those close to us.

I look at my life through completely different glasses now. I see things I never saw before. I was once told by a mentor, I was the most uncompassionate & least merciful person they had ever met. Unfortunately, they were right. B has changed all that. I, for the first time in 21 years, see the way Christ sees me & understand the way He feels for me. When I disobey Christ or have a "moment" I finally understand how Christ just looks on me & shakes his head or lets out a sigh. He loves me just as much as before, maybe even a little more, & even gets a chuckle.

I knew B would change my life. I knew my life would be different. I never expected something so small, so helpless, so.... so unspoken, to change the way I viewed the Savior.